Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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