There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
