Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
