"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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