We won't sleep together?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
