i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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