I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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