i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
