I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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