even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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