Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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