Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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