Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
