My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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