I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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