Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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