His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
