Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You've changed since you got that strap on
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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