Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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