I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
