Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
