I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
