thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
