It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
