i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
