Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize