I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
