ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
