Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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