so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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