Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
