Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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