i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
