He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
