Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
