she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
