Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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