Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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