would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
