a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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