He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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