last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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