I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
