just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
