That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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