HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
