is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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