I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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