You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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