if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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