i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
