can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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