When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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