I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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